Sunday, 27 October 2019

What Is Self-Worth And How Can We Grow It?

When it comes to your relationship with yourself, you can either be your own best friend or biggest enemy. Combined with factors such as social media and images of "perfect" looking people or the "perfect" life, can all add to a feeling that we aren't quite good enough. Let's stop this attitude and instead look at how can we grow our self-worth, believe in ourselves and be capable of achieving our dreams.

“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you're worthy of the trip.” - Glenn Beck, The Christmas Sweater

Personally, it got the point that I would rarely ever post a photo of myself on Instagram. I just in all honestly felt like I didn't look good enough. Yet, if I don't feel I'm good enough, who else will.

I am sharing what self-worth means to me, my process of learning and understanding what my self-worth is, and my tips to start living a life feeling self-worth.

What is self-worth?

Personally, I think that self-worth and self-confidence as different things. Confidence is more about external aspects, such as how other people perceive us. Whereas, self-worth is something more internal and is focused on our own perception of our self.

With regards to confidence, I think of the expression, "fake it till you make it". By imitating confidence, a person can be perceived as confident and therefore making them feel more confident. Whereas, self-worth is focused on our own perception of our self, and more difficult to "fake". If you think that you are unworthy, there is only so much you can kid yourself that you are happy.

How can we grow your self-worth? 

1. Accept the past

capable of achieving our dreams. is to accept the past.

There may have been things in your childhood that have helped the adult you to feel worthless.

If you start by identifying the events or people that have led to this feeling, you are on the first step to accepting and letting go of the past.

I know I can pinpoint some of my feelings of lack of self-worth to things that happened in my childhood. I ended up going to counselling as I could see that it was impacting on my adult life by the choices I was making. It's still a work in progress, but I am starting to change my view of myself.

2. Don't compare yourself to others

When you compare yourself to others, you are then measuring your worth by their terms.
But what about your own terms?

Instead of measuring your worth based on another person’s terms, concentrate on what is meaningful to you.

3. Remove toxic people

If you feel like the people around you make you feel insecure or not so good about yourself, then it's time to say goodbye.

It is not easy, toxic people generally will have such power over you, and they shouldn't.

Yet, once you remove these people from your life, it will free you from the negativity they bring into your life, but it will also create space for more positive people to come into your life.

Lady walking towards the sun in a post about self-worth and how can we grow it

4. What have you achieved? 

Instead of looking at the things you have (or haven't) accomplished, look at what have you achieved.

Personally, for example, I used to look at the fact I didn't do very well in my GCSEs as a definition of me not being good enough or bright enough. Yet, I totally ignored the fact that I had a degree, several post-graduate qualifications and a Masters Degree. 

5. Set your personal boundaries

In all areas of life, people will take advantage if you let them, impacting on your feeling of self-worth.

You could go as far as writing out what you will or will not accept from others, or just go with your feelings.

I go with what makes me feel good and what makes me feel bad.

As with the toxic people, if people or situations make you feel insecure or not good about yourself, then step-by-step try to distance yourself from those people.

Lady walking up steps in a post about self-worth and how can we grow it

6. Be your own best friend

I read a quote years ago about you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. I remember at the time thinking, yes whatever.

Yet it's true.

Once I realised I was my own worst enemy; I was the one who always doubted myself. I let my inner critic win.

Turn that around, be your personal best friend. Be the one who says you can do it. You are worthy of good things. Help yourself by practising regular a self-care routine to make yourself feel good and keep anxiety at bay.

“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.” - Elizabeth Gilbert

A group of friends laughing and having a glass of wine in a post about self-worth and how can we grow it

7. Surround yourself with people who value you

The final thing we can do to grow our self-worth is to surround yourself with people who value you.

If you value yourself, you will attract people that are worth your while. Surround yourself with people you love, and you will feel valuable too.

“Being brave enough to be alone frees you up to invite people into your life because you want them and not because you need them" - Mandy Hale

I am now in a loving relationship, have amazing friends, and the toxic people are in the past. And guess what? I feel happy, valued and loved :)

What are 5 things you value about yourself?

Lots of love, 
Helen x

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